Homeward bound
Well, here we are…
I am less than a month left in country here! I am busy packing, and mailing stuff home, and getting the unit ready for redeployment. I am excited to get my in my Jeep again, and eat pizza. I might be out of touch with American reality though.
How much does gas cost now? What is the big political discussion of the day? I heard there was a twist on Survivor. Did the TV lineup change? Laura picked up for me a new cell phone—will I be smart enough to use it? Is drinking coffee still in? What is the favorite song on the radio right now? How much does a stamp cost? What is the office joke of the day being passed around? Will I be able to pick out my own clothes instead of a uniform? Does anyone understand the phrase: “More cowbell”?
What about food? Is there a new chain restaurant that everyone must go to? What is the trendy beer now? Can I still use the grill to the perfection I once mastered? Can I still cook at all in the kitchen? Can I remember how to eat with real flatware on real plates, or am I cursed to a life of plastic ware?
Can I take the military jargon out of my vocabulary? Will I replace the word “home” with “LSA” (Life Support Area), or “post” with “FOB” (Forward Operation Base)? Will I top of the vehicle or go get gas for the Jeep? Will I hold night court for Molly or give her a time out? Will Laura and I have a staff meeting or a discussion? Will I coordinate with Toby or will I ask him? Will I use the phrase: “Did my SH$T fall off?” Referring to my rank to Laura ? (If I know what is right I will never say that to her!) Will I review the force protection measures, or make sure I lock the house before I leave? “Will this reflect” for Molly? Will I convoy to the PX or will I drive to the PX?
Can I live without doing a cyclic inventory (a monthly inventory of 10% of all property accountable to the Army)? What about sensitive items (weapons, night vision, secure communications equipment), I am not sure how they are accounted for back home. What is the basic load back home (amount of ammo to carry on hand)? Will I be checked for ammo and a weapon before entering the DFAC (kitchen)? Will I need to wear a Kevlar in the Jeep? Will I have to wear my IBA (Individual Body Armor) when I leave the FOB (Post)? Will I have to do a convoy brief before I leave for work? Will I have to do 100% personnel and weapons count twice a day? Are there any commo black outs back in the rear?
It will be fun transitioning back to the “normal” lifestyle with the Army back in the States. I know I will feel naked without my weapon and ICOM radio on me. I know that I will be lost trying to pick out clothes for me to wear. Paying for fuel (gas) will be new for me again. I just can’t pull up and fill up at the tanker. It will be hard for me not to write a counseling statement with the magic bullet (a legal statement stating that further behavior may result in you being kicked out of the military) for Molly when she misbehaves. It will be hard for me to not find 1SG when I have an issue with a Soldier (Molly). I have had a change of responsibility with 1SG and Laura . Sorry top!
I am less than a month left in country here! I am busy packing, and mailing stuff home, and getting the unit ready for redeployment. I am excited to get my in my Jeep again, and eat pizza. I might be out of touch with American reality though.
How much does gas cost now? What is the big political discussion of the day? I heard there was a twist on Survivor. Did the TV lineup change? Laura picked up for me a new cell phone—will I be smart enough to use it? Is drinking coffee still in? What is the favorite song on the radio right now? How much does a stamp cost? What is the office joke of the day being passed around? Will I be able to pick out my own clothes instead of a uniform? Does anyone understand the phrase: “More cowbell”?
What about food? Is there a new chain restaurant that everyone must go to? What is the trendy beer now? Can I still use the grill to the perfection I once mastered? Can I still cook at all in the kitchen? Can I remember how to eat with real flatware on real plates, or am I cursed to a life of plastic ware?
Can I take the military jargon out of my vocabulary? Will I replace the word “home” with “LSA” (Life Support Area), or “post” with “FOB” (Forward Operation Base)? Will I top of the vehicle or go get gas for the Jeep? Will I hold night court for Molly or give her a time out? Will Laura and I have a staff meeting or a discussion? Will I coordinate with Toby or will I ask him? Will I use the phrase: “Did my SH$T fall off?” Referring to my rank to Laura ? (If I know what is right I will never say that to her!) Will I review the force protection measures, or make sure I lock the house before I leave? “Will this reflect” for Molly? Will I convoy to the PX or will I drive to the PX?
Can I live without doing a cyclic inventory (a monthly inventory of 10% of all property accountable to the Army)? What about sensitive items (weapons, night vision, secure communications equipment), I am not sure how they are accounted for back home. What is the basic load back home (amount of ammo to carry on hand)? Will I be checked for ammo and a weapon before entering the DFAC (kitchen)? Will I need to wear a Kevlar in the Jeep? Will I have to wear my IBA (Individual Body Armor) when I leave the FOB (Post)? Will I have to do a convoy brief before I leave for work? Will I have to do 100% personnel and weapons count twice a day? Are there any commo black outs back in the rear?
It will be fun transitioning back to the “normal” lifestyle with the Army back in the States. I know I will feel naked without my weapon and ICOM radio on me. I know that I will be lost trying to pick out clothes for me to wear. Paying for fuel (gas) will be new for me again. I just can’t pull up and fill up at the tanker. It will be hard for me not to write a counseling statement with the magic bullet (a legal statement stating that further behavior may result in you being kicked out of the military) for Molly when she misbehaves. It will be hard for me to not find 1SG when I have an issue with a Soldier (Molly). I have had a change of responsibility with 1SG and Laura . Sorry top!
posted by Shackster | 2:25 PM
3 Comments:
Chris-
We could all use some more cowbell!
Can't wait to have you home!
Kate
Will "more cowbell" ever die? Very doubtful. One more thing you forgot is that you will start paying for bottles of water. Don't be the guy that steals a bottle from the gas station thinking it was free.
Get back soon, I need my Petersburg drinking buddy back.
Glad to see that you are safe and headed home. Whne you get back CONUS are you going to be back at Ft Lee or someplace else? I am sentenced to Ft. Meade, LOL. give me a holla when you get back.
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