I'm on my way home

Well,
I left Ft Lewis on Thursday for my cross country trek. My goal is to do this in four days. It is hard to do when your hiney keeps falling asleep!

Here is a summary of my trip so far:

There was snow in the Snowquamie pass in WA. It was cool seeing snow again. In Idaho, I passed a potato chip factory and it smelled like frying potatoes. In Wyoming, there was snow and wind (gusts up to 45 MPH)! When I passed a ridge (ele 8600) I realized that it was all down hill to VA! I am now in Ft Collins CO, and will try to reach ST Louis today. It will take about 12 hours, but I think I can do it. All I can say, is that I am grateful that the Army is picking up the tab on gas and hotels.

I made a resolution in Iraq to eat at every Hooters on the way home, but I haven't seen any yet. I will continue to look for one!(ha)

Well, off to the Jeep!

My last post from Theater

Well, barring anything drastic, this is my last post from theater. I have already left Iraq and I am getting ready here in Kuwait for the 20 hour flight to Ft Lewis.

This past year has been a blur, looking back at it. I am currenlty in the camp I was in a year ago getting ready to move north to Iraq, and it seems like yesterday.

I have learned much, like most people do in a year. I have learned things to do to help my career, and what not to do as well. I have seen some pretty amazing things and some pretty dumb things.

I remember Christmas with the stocking of stuff that Laura sent. I was actually good and did not open it until Christmas. I looked forward to the mail that Laura sent, especially the pictures for the photo album that I kept. Yes, I think part of the scrap book cult is in me.

I liked all the comments that I recieved on the Blogg. They all made me laugh. I am looking forward to see everyone here in the next few weeks. I have to clear at Ft Lewis, and then drive back to Ft Lee. Don't forget about Turkey day at our house this year. The more the merrier.

Again, thanks to everyone for keeping me in their prayers. I will be back in the good old USA in the next 48 hours!

Wild Card 6, out.

Mind dump

I just finished clearing my unit from theater, so basically the only responsibilty I have is to get on a plane. I am now starting to transform from Company Commander, man who cares about all, to CPT Joe Shmoe who doesn't really care what time it is. I am down in Kuwait currently and the rest of my unit is still in Iraq. They will be flying down here soon. So until then, I will hang out at the Starbucks, or the pool and work on my tan!

I am looking forward to seeing everyone back home. Toby, we will have to lose our selves in several barley pops, Luke and Annie-->Monopoly will be hardcore this year, Dave and Donna-->We will try drink all the brew that you made!

I am still debating on what upgrades to do to my Jeep. The bumper is a definite, so is new doors. I want a cold air intake, but Household 6 is fighting me on this. I want to get a grill guard for her jeep, and KC daylighters for my new bumper. New tires would be nice, someday, along with headers, cat/back exhaust and maybe a throttle spacer...

As you can see, I am not doing good of making my mind.

Homeward bound

Well, here we are…

I am less than a month left in country here! I am busy packing, and mailing stuff home, and getting the unit ready for redeployment. I am excited to get my in my Jeep again, and eat pizza. I might be out of touch with American reality though.

How much does gas cost now? What is the big political discussion of the day? I heard there was a twist on Survivor. Did the TV lineup change? Laura picked up for me a new cell phone—will I be smart enough to use it? Is drinking coffee still in? What is the favorite song on the radio right now? How much does a stamp cost? What is the office joke of the day being passed around? Will I be able to pick out my own clothes instead of a uniform? Does anyone understand the phrase: “More cowbell”?

What about food? Is there a new chain restaurant that everyone must go to? What is the trendy beer now? Can I still use the grill to the perfection I once mastered? Can I still cook at all in the kitchen? Can I remember how to eat with real flatware on real plates, or am I cursed to a life of plastic ware?

Can I take the military jargon out of my vocabulary? Will I replace the word “home” with “LSA” (Life Support Area), or “post” with “FOB” (Forward Operation Base)? Will I top of the vehicle or go get gas for the Jeep? Will I hold night court for Molly or give her a time out? Will Laura and I have a staff meeting or a discussion? Will I coordinate with Toby or will I ask him? Will I use the phrase: “Did my SH$T fall off?” Referring to my rank to Laura ? (If I know what is right I will never say that to her!) Will I review the force protection measures, or make sure I lock the house before I leave? “Will this reflect” for Molly? Will I convoy to the PX or will I drive to the PX?

Can I live without doing a cyclic inventory (a monthly inventory of 10% of all property accountable to the Army)? What about sensitive items (weapons, night vision, secure communications equipment), I am not sure how they are accounted for back home. What is the basic load back home (amount of ammo to carry on hand)? Will I be checked for ammo and a weapon before entering the DFAC (kitchen)? Will I need to wear a Kevlar in the Jeep? Will I have to wear my IBA (Individual Body Armor) when I leave the FOB (Post)? Will I have to do a convoy brief before I leave for work? Will I have to do 100% personnel and weapons count twice a day? Are there any commo black outs back in the rear?

It will be fun transitioning back to the “normal” lifestyle with the Army back in the States. I know I will feel naked without my weapon and ICOM radio on me. I know that I will be lost trying to pick out clothes for me to wear. Paying for fuel (gas) will be new for me again. I just can’t pull up and fill up at the tanker. It will be hard for me not to write a counseling statement with the magic bullet (a legal statement stating that further behavior may result in you being kicked out of the military) for Molly when she misbehaves. It will be hard for me to not find 1SG when I have an issue with a Soldier (Molly). I have had a change of responsibility with 1SG and Laura . Sorry top!

The first step is admitting that you have a problem

I have a problem. I am an addict. I really can’t remember when I started. I remember experimenting as early as sixth grade. We had a Columbian exchange student live with us, and he would get some “good stuff” sent to him once a month. Man was that some potent stuff. Then I joined the Army. We have random drug screenings, and banned smoking from most buildings, but still this problem is running rampant in the Army; even more so in the deployed environment.

I can’t see a way to stop it. Some soldiers live on this stuff, and I can understand why. It picks you up when you’re down. It is always there for you. It is versatile in the way you can take it.

I can’t start a good day without it, and sometimes, I use it throughout the day. You can over do it, just ask Laura about the one trip to Seattle. I almost ended up divorced over my use of it. I’ve tried to kick the habit, but it's on my back like a 100 lb ruck on a 20 mile road march. I feel so alive right after I use it. When I have a good hit of it, I need more. You know the feeling when you have…



COFFEE!

Canned Air

Only in modern times are humans mesmerized by “Canned Air”. What is canned air? Is it air? No, so why call it that. Why not call it what it is: Tetrafluoroethane I guess it is hard to think of a marketing campaign for it, so they came up with canned air. What do you use it for? Do you breathe it? Only of you want to knock your IQ down by 50 points! Out here in the desert, there are many uses for “Canned air” formerly known as tetrafluoroethane:

1) Clean the dust out of the computer keyboard: the standard use for this stuff

2) Freeze warts off: yes this actually works, I will not post here how to do it; It does cause frost bite!

3) Fill balloons instead of blowing them up: hey, work smarter, not harder!

4) Dust off the desk: Americans are a lazy bunch of people

5) Clean your weapon: only for dust, not for carbon

6) Scare people when walking up behind them and spraying their head

7) Cleans your desert suede boots: this is my favorite, and it works better than a brush!

8) To see how cold you can make the can: Americans love to waste stuff, even air!


Well, there is the latest news from the front. I will be traveling to Kuwait over the next few days to start ordering planes to get my unit home. Yes, I am on the downward slope of this deployment and now we are adding grease to the slope!

Photos from Kurdistan market